Enough About You, Let's Talk About Me: How to Recognize and Manage the Narcissists in Your Life

Incredibly informative book on what it's like living with a narcissist and what to do about it. I am so thankful I found Dr. Carter. This book is rich with eye-opening revelations. I plan to read it again and again because every page is so helpful and I need the reminders. The book has helped me so much in dealing with the narc in my life. What really set me free was the realization that the answer to being successful was up to me the whole time. I have implemented his common sense approach to great effect in my life. I am so grateful to Dr. Carter for having the wisdom and understanding to deal with these difficult people and the generosity to share with those in need. A real treasure.

Recommended by a licensed faith based counselor. Would recommend to anyone trying to navigate a toxic/one sided relationship.

This is an excellent book, mirroring much of the best therapy I've had on the subject. After a period of relief I began falling back on my heels, forgetting who I was, and mentally deteriorating. I started reading this book a few hours ago and finished it in one sitting. After months of hopelessness I am once again feeling incredibly grounded today. The trick is not to forget this advice, even if that means re reading from time to time. This book put me right back where I belong and I will definitely be reading it again. It is now my go to for when I catch myself losing my grip. Dr. Carter is articulate, and his advice is highly effective when put to use. I'm grateful for this book, it is certainly a game changer. Highly recommend. Worth the read.

I unfortunately married into a family with several narcissists. My husband also showed some traits but nothing like his mother and sister. No one showed their true self until after the marriage and I had never been around people like that. Dr. Carter's book is spot on with teaching how to deal with this type of person. They aren't going to change so you have to change how you deal with them to maintain your sanity and not lower yourself to their level. I would recommend this book to anyone having to deal with this type of personality. Thank you Dr. Carter!

A must have book in this modern world. Make it through life... read this book... learn and understand so you are not blinded by narcissism and lose years off your life. Watch his videos on Youtube, too. Nobody paid me to say this:-) If you have been a victim of narcissism, remember who you are... write it down and go for that walk on the beach, spend time in nature or whatever it is you love to do. Mountain bike riding.... horseback riding... do the thing they hated and did not want you to... and BEGIN AGAIN!! Be yourself. The unique person who God created you to be. You got this!!

If you love someone who is a narcissist then this book will be invaluable. Les Carter understands the dark side of narcissistic behavior and gently cautions the reader to not try to change the narcissist but to instead work on your responses so as not to aggravate the situation. The real problem is that narcissists mess with your mind and too often people give up control of their own reactions. This book teaches "delicate detachment" as well as humbleness and forgiveness. While some are offended that this book talks about people having a "sin nature" I have to wonder if they have listened to the news lately. Anyone who thinks people are generally good is not paying attention to all the bad things people do every single day. Unfortunately many of us are involved with narcissists who are extremely selfish people. It is not always possible to avoid these types of people and many of us seem to be narcissist magnets because we were either raised by narcissists or are in a relationship with one. As this book explains narcissists can pretend to be nice people until they have what they want. Then their real nature reveals itself in various ways. Les Carter explains how to deal with a very controlling person. As he accurately states you are dealing with a person who thinks they are god and they are not GOD. He advises the reader to disengage instead of trying to change the narcissists behavior. He also gives you the skills you need to get your life back. You generally have to become more assertive without being angry or frustrated. The author of this book expects a lot and to deal with narcissists you have to almost be a very mature individual. I think there is always hope that a person can change if God works in their life but it may take a while. I think narcissistic people are in our lives to help us develop our own character. At least that is one of the bonuses that is evident to me personally. No one can probably teach you patience like a narcissist. The only problem I see with this book is that someone in a very abusive relationship might stay and become emotionally damaged as a result. If you are being verbally or physically abused I hope you will seek professional help. ~The Rebecca Review

This book has cleared up any questions as to whether or not I have been dealing with a person who has a Narcissistic personality. It has helped me immensely. If you have had numerous conversations with a loved one and can't seem to get through to them and always wind up at the same place, you might want to read this book. It helps to clear it all up. I highly recommend this book because now when this particular person calls I no longer get that pit in my stomach or frustration, i have much more understanding knowing it's something they have and don't understand and I have a bucket of tools to work with now instead of being frustrated myself. It's a keeper from now on to refer back to for help. Thank you Amazon to offering it at a great price and quickly to my door.

Dr. Carter has a conversational writing style that makes this book incredibly easy to read. The many client examples he has make it so relatable to the relationships on my life. Very well done. I will recommend this to friends and clients a lot!

Thank you for your life work. I love your common sense programmatic attitude to dealing with the manipulators in our lives. Love and peace to you.

Amazing reflections about with narcisists in our life. The best approach I have ever found after reading many books about the topic.

We all have difficult people in or lives. They may not be all narcissists but they can be difficult to relate with none-the-less. A whether you are married to, related to, work with or friends with this book has something for all situations. If you are a Christian wanting to respond in a Christ-like manner to these persons you will find the book replies to the problem in such a way you will feel that you are being true to your beliefs. If you aren't a Christian the Christian content isn't so overwhelming that you can't read around it an learn from the book anyways. Definitely a good read for all!

I've read one other book on the topic of Narcissism, Alexander Lowen's Narcissism: Denial of the True Self which dealt with Narcissism in a broad sense, as a trait anyone could possess, a trait fostered by cultural messages and also one which Narcissists themselves could be expected to eventually self-identify and wish to assail. This is perhaps the greatest distinction between Carter and Lowen's perspective in that Carter doesnt believe Narcissists seek to change or engage with therapy in order to change and has instead produced a book aimed at helping those who have regular dealings with the most intractably narcissistic individuals. Other key differences include that Carter incorporates into his narrative content of a really spiritual bent, for instance discussing the existence of an underlying or inborn nature in the context of "original sin" or "sin nature", and there is not the same emphasis upon disowned physical sensation or estrangement from feeling as in Lowen (the reason being that Lowen is a therapist influenced by Reich whereas Carter isnt). Carter's account is clear, concise and readable, pace and style of writing are accessible and interesting and it is likely to be just as accessible to a general readership as professionals or students. Breaks and spacing are used to great effect as are headings and sub-headings used to provide structure, there are no meandering tangents. However there is a slight draw back in how Carter uses case studies and examples from his practice, these are introduced, reintroduced and rereferred to in a way which sometimes feels like a change of pace and made me feel like skipping ahead to where the narration would pick up again afterwards. There's some great use of bullet points to provide concise breakdowns of what will be discussed and these are then used as subheadings to the material comprising the rest of the chapeter. For instance, Carter's breakdown of the common Narcisstic Traits into: An inability to empathise; that is, an inability to experience another person's feelings and perceptions from that person's point of view; Manipulative or exploitative behaviour; A sense of entitlement; An inability to receive direction; An insatiable need for control; A haughty or judgemental spirit; An unwillingness to acknowledge reality; An ability to create favourable public impressions. While there is some content about an original or "sin nature" asserting itself Carter's explanation of the origins of Narcissism considers it as emerging as a consequence of parenting style, lack of appropriate parent-child bonding and consequent emotional illiteracy. Even at this point of discussing what makes a Narcissist and why does someone become a Narcissist there are pages discussing how best to respond and the final part of the book deals with developing the skills set to deal with Narcissists. The book overall is a great read, different from Lowen's and with a narrower focus upon the behaviour of those intractably self-absorbed individuals, I would recommend it to anyone interested in the topic in general and anyone who needs the skills for dealing with Narcisstic individuals in particular. I liked the entire book the chapter on passive-aggressive narcissists was particularly enlightening, indicating how through indirect means individuals of this sort could assert as much control and cause as much harm as more obvious controllers.

This book is excellent in its down to earth assessment of a Narcissistic person. The best advice I got was that I can't change a Narcissistic person, but I can change myself. It helped me to recognize my own part of the problem with concrete steps to change myself, the only person I am able to do anything about. Hope shone through!